The cops in St. Petersburg, Florida got a call at 7:40 A.M. on Thursday about something crazy going down in a public park.
There was an 81-year-old woman named Mary Ellen Stewart sitting on a bench . . . fully TOPLESS . . . drinking pink Franzia wine straight from the BOX.
And when the cops approached her, she started trying to spray them with her wine.
She was arrested for disorderly intoxication.